Killer Klowns from Outer Space

How many of you people (person?) reading this blog have a fear of clowns? Don't be shy. I used to. You can blame Stephen King's It for that. Well, Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a movie about killer clowns. From outer space. It's a grade A shlock, cult film but a grade Q "movie", if you catch my drift. In fact, this movie is so fantastically bad that it will cure your coulrophobia. Don't quote me on that.

Everything about it just screams "you're about to waste your time". Its cheesy tagline mocks Alien: "In space, no one can eat ice cream". The fact that clowns is spelled with a K is horrifying. But that's just the DVD case. Wait until you actually watch it.

There are killer pies, killer popcorn, cotton candy cocoons that disintegrate humans into a suckable liquid that is inhaled by the klowns through BENDY STRAWS! and I got carried away there, sorry. ...The point I was trying to make there is that this movie is ridiculous. Shall I count the ways? Instead of a traditional play-by-play walkthrough with commentary as many other sites tend to do (and we will also tend to do) I'm going to list just how crazy this movie is. Sue me.

1. The Killings

The causes of death in this film are hilarious, both on the human and klown side. Shadow puppets that can actually devour you whole, klown-headed snakes, killer flesh-melty pies, and the cotton candy that can turn humans into a 5-Hour Energy shot... yeah. On the klown side, well, to kill a klown, you have to shoot it in the nose. I know, right? And then they spin around and turn into poorly-animated sparkles. Let's take a drug count, shall we?

2. The Klowns

The klowns are actually a little scary (this is coming from a recovering coulrophobe). They look sort of dirty and lumpy. They're hobo-clowns. They also have teeth (which begs the question of why they must dissolve their food... it's probably only for the bendy straw gag), their shoes leave behind rubber stamp prints, and they ride around in a spaceship that appears to be a circus tent (well, duh, they're clowns!) but is made of Kevlar or something. The klowns are just insane...

3. The Komedy (Yes, with a "K")

I won't always review B-movies as "oh, they should be awful, so it gets a high score", but it is important to remember that this is a horror-comedy film. Sorry, horror-komedy film. Anyway, the movie is surreal, and it takes jabs at itself whenever possible. At one point, the main characters are running from the "killer popcorn" and the girl (Debbie) asks, "Why popcorn?" and Mike responds, "Because they're CLOWNS!!". That really just sums the movie up right there. You can't even attempt to take it seriously because a little voice in the back of your mind says, "Dude... you're watching a movie called 'Killer Klowns'. What did you expect?".

So, all in all, it's a bad movie. The acting's pretty terrible. There's not much in the way of "groundbreaking writing" or "special" effects... but it is good for a few laughs. I recommend viewing after midnight.

3/5

Here's a poster....